Date: Sat, 03 May 2003 17:48:48 +0200
From: Maurizio Mariotti <mariotti@venturenet.co.za>
To: CYBERMIND@LISTSERV.AOL.COM
Subject: Test Shows 99.99% of High School Seniors Can't Read Perl

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Test Shows 99.99% of High School Seniors Can't Read Perl

San Francisco, CA - Recent results from the standardized Perl Fluency
Test showed that 99.99% of US high school seniors can't read Perl.
This disturbing statistic shows that American students are painfully
unprepared for life after graduation.

"This shows that there is a real need for a Perl Monk in every
classroom," said Perl Monk Kelly Adrity.  "We've got computers in every
classroom, now we need our kids to be able to use them, and what better
way to learn about computers than to learn how to read and write in
Perl.  I'm glad the budget proposed by President Bush sets aside
millions for Perl Monks.  America will lead the way in Perl literacy."


The four hour test had 2 sections, a simple translation section and a
project section. The first part asked students to translate easy Perl
phrases into their standard English equivalent, and the second section
required students to produce a simple MP3 player in Perl.  "I didn't
know what the hell any of it  meant," said one Senior, "it had lots of
slashes and periods and brackets. It was so confusing.  I'm feeling
rather nauseous."

Perl experts were astounded by the results.  "I was amazed that none of
the students were able to read this simple sentence:

$_='while(read+STDIN,$_,2048){$a=29;$c=142;if((@a=unx"C*",$_)
[20]&48){$h=5;$_=unxb24,join"",@b=map{xB8,unxb8,chr($_^$a[--$h+8 4])}
@ARGV;s/...$/1$&/;$d=unxV,xb25,$_;$b=73;$e=256|(ord$b[4])<<9|ord $b[3];
$d=$d>>8^($f=($t=255)&($d>>12^$d>>4^$d^$d/8))<<17,$e=$e>>8^($t&
($g=($q=$e>>14&7^$e)^$q*8^$q<<6))<<9,$_=(map{$_%16or$t^=$c^=
($m=(11,10,116,100,11,122,20,100)[$_/16%8])&110;$t^=(72,@z=(64,7 2,$a^
=12*($_%16-2?0:$m&17)),$b^=$_%64?12:0,@z)[$_%8]}(16..271))[$_]^
(($h>>=8)+=$f+(~$g&$t))for@a[128..$#a]}print+x"C*",@a}';s/x/pack
+/g;eval

I mean, come on, that's so easy," said Paul Chen, Chairman of the Learn
Perl or Die Association, which administered the test nationwide.
"Teachers need to start with simple phrases like  $RF=~tr/A-Z/a-z/; and
work up from there.  We really need to start teaching this in first
grade if kids are ever going to understand this by high school."

Not everyone shared Mr. Chen's view about the necessity of adding Perl
to early elementary curricula.  Programmers Against Perl (PAP)
spokesperson, Keith Willingham said, "There's no better way to scare
students away from computers than exposing them to Perl.  Even
experienced programmers are frightened and confused by it.  The Perl
lobby is just getting too powerful, and they need to be stopped."

(BBspot LLC)

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